If Needs Must
Verbally fighting a waitress – or at least trying to teach them how to make tea properly is not a good idea for several obvious reasons. Reason 1 is that a) she makes tea all day every day and therefore feels that she must be good at it and is very defensive and b) she makes tea so much that she honestly thinks that she must know more than anyone else who is not a waiter or waitress. Reason 2 is that it can get you banned from your favourite café, which is a tragic shame! But if needs must, so be it.
I was sitting in the café minding my own business. I found myself watching the waitress at the till, Suzanne is her name, listening to the man in the suit order strong black tea. Then it hit me…the man was being swindled! Suzanne had taken the tea-bag and dunked it once in the cup and then GIVEN it to the man. I had to step in. Clearly he didn’t know enough about tea to tell Suzanne what she had done was wrong and disrespectful to generations of tea makers.
“Excuse me,” I said, standing up, “but what was that?”
Suzanne put her hands on her hips and said, “what was what?”
I pointed at the suited (who was suited in I must say quite big men’s clothing) man’s pathetic excuse for tea. “That! It’s a monstrosity! You may as well have just waved the tea bag near it. Look.” I waited until everyone in the café was looking in to the cup. “It’s transparent Suzanne, it’s see through! You shouldn’t be able to see the bottom of a cup filled with strong black tea!”
It seemed I had proved my point. The man said “ok…thanks” and Suzanne smiled and re-did the tea. I thought it would all work out but a minute later Suzanne came over and asked me to leave and never come back.
“What you said was…was…just…” —she looked like she was going to cry so I said “embarrassing? Woops, there you go, should have gone to tea school eh Suzanne, you won’t make that mistake again.”
“yes! You make me look like a moron!” she cried, stunned by my tea pride which is rarely seen in that cafe it has to be said. “Now get out and stay out and take your tea philosophy with you!”
So I did. But I have no regrets. At least I made my point and now other people might stand up for their rights, eh?
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